Chapter Nineteen
“HOTSHOT”
Among the disappointments one suffers in advancing age, is the abandoning of dreams of adventures that are planned but never quite brought to fruition. One such dream that I pondered for a long time, was to enter a campaign for a political office with the hope that I would not be elected.
I had always felt that a candidate who called attention to his opponents’ incompetence’s and weaknesses should be soundly defeated so I wondered what public reaction would be if I would carefully evaluate an opponent and, from the stump, tell the electorate about the fact that he was better equipped and better qualified than I and that he would make a better official.
Where these thoughts originated, I will never know but I DO remember a remarkable campaign in which a young man ran for a seat on the county commission. He was not exactly what you would call shy but he was nervous so, before he mounted the stump, he bolstered his nerves with encouragement from a bottle (which his opponent’s campaign manager thoughtfully provided). In fact he over-bolstered it but he had in mind the points he wanted to make.
Grasping the podium firmly, as a steadying influence, he dove into his arguments. “One of the duties of a county commissioner is to oversee the building and maintenance of roads in his district. Now, I don’t know anything about building roads but my opponent doesn’t either. The commission hires professionals to build roads.
“Another duty is to set budgets and spend money. This is another subject that I could never understand but my opponent is no better at managing money than I am, Besides the commission has paid employees to manage this work.
“Setting building codes and restrictions is another phase that is supervised by the commission and about which I know very little but my opponent has had even less experience than I in this line but the commission appoints and hires an inspector to manage this.”
One by one, he ticked off the duties of a county commissioner, each time ending with the phrase, “I don’t know anything about this but my opponent doesn’t either. The County hires- - ”
He wound up his presentation by stating, “I am an old cracker boy, born and raised out there on the Kissimmee prairie. I need a job and I hope you folks will hire me.
They ALMOST did. It was a close race.
(This article is reprinted from Bulletin Number Fifty Five.
Sebring Historical Society, January 1975. Page 1377.)